In life there are things that you have no control of. Even how much you try to put things in place, perfectly design it, do your best and give your all, they may not just be enough.
I learned that I could only do so much; that despite all my efforts, things may not go my way, as what I expect them to be.
I have done things that I have never done before—my firsts. I thought that if I go beyond my routines, that if I do something unusual, that if I do it, things will be perfectly beautiful. But it was not the case.
I have done my best. I have been very prepared. I thought that if things are in place, that if all are set, that if I am just prepared, things will be smooth sailing. Again, it was not the case.
I have given my all. In my perspective, I gave my all. I thought that if I won’t hold back, that if I do everything I can do and give, things would go my way. It was not the case.
At the end of the day, I realized that even if I did what I’ve never done before, did my very best and gave my all, it’s not always an assurance that things will be perfectly well. There are things that I, we, have no control of like sickness, natural calamity, etc. I can have no control of them nor prevent them from coming. They are external. They are beyond my control.
It is just sad that my efforts could be wasted because these external factors may not coincide with what I plan, with what I want to happen. And so I prayed that they might be very kind to me, that God intervenes and let not external factors ruin my plans. I asked for a divine intervention but it did not work, at least not the way I expected the answered prayer to be. In short, things did not go perfectly well. I was frustrated and disappointed. My efforts. My money. My time. My happiness. Not so much catered.
But I realized, I should still be thankful for what happened. First, I learned to do something new and it was a wonderful feeling to be able to do something out of passion, and not just because of a mere requirement or anything. Second, I should be proud of myself for being prepared, for doing my best to make things well. I think it is something I should be happy for. Lastly, I should never be frustrated nor lose heart because of some unfortunate events. What mattered more was that I gave my all. I am never regretful. I realized that I am already happy of what happened. I was just clouded of the not-so-good events that I failed to see the beauty of my experience.
I am HAPPY. Things may have not gone my way but it was more than enough that in my own capacity, I gave everything I got. And that I still worked on to make things perfectly well. So, I enjoyed, had fun and learned something new in this life.
The Blogger
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Because I can only do so much
Monday, October 12, 2009
Special Day, Special Place
This is a special day. For so many wonderful and simple reasons, this day is very special to me. There's no any grand thing that happened yet I am soooo happy, that's why this is a special day. :)
A little traveling, some indirect answers to questions, waiting a bit, going to a convenience store to check prices, short text messages, lunch with my bestfriend, seeing my other friends after their Techno defense, and visiting my Lolo made this day very special.
I love the simplicity of what I did. There was so much energy and fun. There was excitement. So much happiness. So much passion.
Traveling became so interesting. It's a bit time-consuming but I wanted to extend it, that destination was farther, to enjoy the moment. I had fun giving indirect answers to
some questions. Made me feel witty. I enjoyed the waiting part underneath a tree. Solitude gave me time to think and reflect and be happy of what is about to happen. Also, it was good to check some prices in a convenience store. Look for cheaper products. Try to budget money. And get the feeling that great things are about to happen. Short text messages also made me smile. Even those words are not directly coming from the mouth of the people who sent them, I still feel the warmth of those messages. I had lunch with my bestfriend in the FoodCourt. It was our first time to eat together there. It's a wonderful feeling that you have someone to eat meal with and talk on some stuff while eating. I just c
an't eat alone. That's me. And yeah, seeing my beautiful friends after their Techno defense and sharing good news contributed to the happines I am feeling right now. I am just so proud of them for making it. One more sem and we're done guys! :) Lastly, visiting my Lolo in Buhangin Memorial Park was the culmination of this special day. I miss him so much and I missed going to that place. I saw my grandma and other relatives when I got there. It was almost drizzling so I hurried to some special spots in that place. It's so wonderful to be in
that place again. Reminiscing of the wonderful things that happened there. Taking photos of those spots. And videotaking of God's lightning show. All of these made my day more special.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
A Dream Bond
Sometimes, in life there really are bonds formed that can never be broken. Sometimes, you really can find that one person who will stand by you no matter what. Maybe you'll find it in a spouse and celebrate it with your dream wedding, but there's also the chance that the one person you can count on for a lifetime, the one person who knows you, sometimes better than you know yourself, is the same person who's been standing beside you all along. (Bride Wars)
I was struck by these lines from the famous movie Bride Wars. Actually, I have not seen the movie yet. Someone shared these lines. True, indeed. There really are bonds that can never be broken. Not because it is unbreakable, but because it's a choice to stick together, forever. It's rare, though. It's so hard to sustain bonds. Problems, temptations and the like will try to challenge and break them. But these are just tests. If taken constructively, these will help a bond to be stronger and better. I really admire those people who stick together no matter what. Facing the problems together, holding each other hands. Doing their best to sustain the love and holding on to each others' promises. Sticking to the commitment and vow they once made.
I dream to have such bond. And I would fight and work for it. A rare bond that is worth my lifetime. Yet, I can never know the answer until my very last breath.
