Looking Back Two Years Ago

I intended not to write about this today but for some divine intervention, I replied to the message of my aunt and saw her photo albums. It's no coincidence seeing those photos, and I was reminded again of that day.

Exactly two years ago, March 16, 2009, while Davao was merry-making, our family was grieving. The ride to Buhangin Memorial Park seemed to be the longest ride. It's like I wanted to move forward but I didn't. Because I knew seeing him ends there.

And now that it's been two years, I am looking back and wonder where did all I get the strength to carry on. My grandfather's being ill until his death and finally burial was also the time when I had to finish my SAD Final Output, and Thesis Proposal. Aside from that, being elected as the new CS Rep that time, I had to prepare for the Seniors' Night and Graduation breakfast while preparing for the final exams.

I forgot how I did it. But I did it somehow. I never cried in public except when I first heard the news, and I was in Kim's house doing SAD and Thesis, and the burial. I tried to be strong in front of them, especially whenever I was with my grandma. I didn't bring any emotional burden whenever I was doing my tasks. I had to do my responsibility even if I was bleeding inside. My outlet was to cry inside the room while looking at his photos. I ran to the room whenever I felt like crying to hide my tears.

Lately, I've been wondering why I am this strong now. Now I know why. I have experienced a great loss in my life, but I chose to rise and move on. It couldn't be possible without my friends, especially my family, relatives and God! During those trying times, holding each other, and being strong for one another, helped us so much to carry on and continue living.

Two years ago was a reminder that I am strong, that we are strong as long as we have each other, as long as we believe that God is there to comfort us. I know my grandpa is somewhere peaceful and happy now. He is in a better place.

Whenever I feel like giving up, I'd look back to those days, and I'd call God to remind me again that there's no pain that can't be healed.

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