Whenever I am happy, I always see to it that I share it with my friends and my family. But this time is a bit different. I can't share the reason of my happiness.I just can't. With reasons that I won't dare say in this entry. It will be kept in me forever. This happiness must be as silent as the deer. It is not that I am too selfish not to share but sometimes there are things better left unsaid; that you and God only know. I am just happy.
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The Blogger
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Happiness that you can't share
Friday, May 30, 2008
Being TRUE is not Being BAD
I don't understand why people think that being true is being bad. It is not really very explicit but it is what implies whenever they say "I'm just being true to myself". What is really being true to oneself? Is it by bursting to tears and shouting out loud the anger within? Or perhaps by being mean to people and showing them what you've got? I say NO to all of these. These people who think tat being true is being mean criticize people who are doing well and good. They think that they are just pretending, hiding their true colors and so on. Can they never believe that what's true is what's good? We're born good, that's the truth. The next time you see a person unable to control his/her anger, don't say he/she is being true to himself/herself. It is not by this that we show our true selves.
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Thursday, May 29, 2008
Why is it hard to let go?
I've been wondering why I have the hardest time of letting go. Every time I find an answer to a question my mind asks, another one pops. It seems never-ending. My mind wants to move on because it knows that it's best for me but it can't win the illusion that covers it. I can't stop imagining. The illusions are too powerful that I can't stop but imagine things that I know would never ever happen. I cant understand myself why I am letting myself be drowned by this foolishness. All I know is that I'm happy even I know it's impossible. These thoughts make me happy; temporary it may be but this makes me alive for the moment. Deep within me knows that friendship is the only possible thing you could ever offer. And I am cool with that. I don't want more. I am just filling in the things that I know that can't happen with me and you through the scenes I make in my mind. I may sound crazy. Many may not understand me. But I just want to make myself happy. Is it hard to understand? I am doing this because I still believe that what can't happen in the real world, can be possible in the world of imagination.
In time, I will be able to fully let go. It's hard, it's painful. But it's worth the tears.
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Dream or Imagination?
Before I go to sleep, usually I tend to imagine things until I lose my consciousness. And so I get into a deep sleep. Then, just so before I get up from sleep, I have these scenes and images left in me. These were the things I keep on imagining. And they seem so real. I am just confused if those were dreams or works of my imagination. I want to know because I want to figure out whether those scenes were created by my conscious mind or the subconscious one. And the answer matters.
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Monday, May 26, 2008
My Girl: A Filipino Flavor
I can still remember those moments when I laughed at Jasmine, the lead role in the Korean Series MY GIRL.She was a funny bubbly girl. I really loved her character. That made me watch the show from start to end. The lead stars were really great--great chemistry, superb acting and good looks. The Filipino dubbers were so good too. All in all, the series was a BOMB. Now, Philippine TV dares to localize the foreign show.
ABS-CBN franchised the Korean Hit MY GIRL. This is a big leap for the Philippine TV because for the first time, there will be a localized version of a foreign TV hit. The station gives its trust to the young stars of today, the most sought-after loveteam, Kim Chiu and Gerald Anderson. This is a big project for both teens after their successful TV series Sana Maulit Muli which is being aired now in Taiwan.
One great thing of this localized version is that it really is localized. The filipino version is not a full copy of the original one. It is a good thing so that to avoid comparison. As we all know, the Korean version was aired first and it was a big HIT. Now comes a Filipino version and with a Filipino flavor; making it unique and closer to Filipino lifestyle. The show starts this Monday, May 26, 2008. I am expecting a high rating for the pilot episode.
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Sunday, May 25, 2008
I am not EXPECTING.
I thought it was a promise, was it not? Or maybe it was just a sweet farewell words that I mistook as a promise? Either way, I am taking it as promise.I keep on telling myself that I should not expect anything from you. Why should I? I'm not even your special friend or some close relative.
I'm sad now because even how hard I try, even how many times I deny it,I can't hide that I AM EXPECTING. I can't fake my emotions to myself. The time I face the mirror is the moment I see what's inside me. Every time I lay my head on the pillow and try to rest, I can't dream because my imaginations are leading me to you. I only see those memories; it is as if I'm watching a movie and I keep on playing it again and again until the battery drains--the moment I sleep. Still, my mind is saying that I am not expecting. I really am not. Even my actions say otherwise.
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PayPerPost FINALLY!
When I started blogging, a friend introduced me to all sorts of get-paid-to-post sites and the like. I was so eager, knowing that I can use my IT course and writing ability to earn income. Because of the excitement, I hurriedly registered myself to those he mentioned, one of those sites is payperpost. But I got disappointed when my new blog was rejected. There were requirements that needed to be met in order to start earning. Unfortunately, at that time I failed to meet all of it. My blog was so new then. It was not a week old. Thankfully, payperpost has changed its rules or maybe I met their requirements. Not a month ago, another friend suggested me to sign in. He said his blog was approved by the site. As far as I know, our blogs are at the same age. So, I tried my luck again, full of hopes that this time my blog will be accepted by the site. After weeks of waiting, I received an email that my blog was approved. A dream came true. I really wanted to be a member of this site because from what I have heard payperpost.com is good for beginners. Also, this site really pays for real. I haven't met any friends yet except for those who recommended the site. I am excited to earn. And earn big with the help of this site. I am planning to use my first payout to treat my friends. As I promised.
When Somebody is in your Mind Always
I deny the fact that I feel a romantic love for this person. But this one is always in my mind. Every little thing reminds me that this person exists. And it is everyday. From the time I wake up until I lose my consciousness. I know in myself that I don't feel romantic love; a friend's love is a better term to use. Or just maybe I am afraid to consider it as that. Perhaps, I am too scared to admit it to myself that this time I'm in love. I've been denying love for almost a year now. I am avoiding it. I don't want to feel it. Not yet. Not now. One thing is certain--can't get this one out of my mind. And I don't know what to do.
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Thursday, May 15, 2008
My FRIENDSHIP with JSP
At first glance, I thought I would not like JSP. I imagined myself cursing those developers of this language asking them why they have done such a horrible deed. I really had a wrong impression with the Java Server Pages (JSP). But now, I am friends with it.
According to Wikipedia, JavaServer Pages (JSP) is a Java technology that allows software
developers to dynamically generate HTML, XML or other types of documents in response to a Web client request. The technology allows Java code and certain pre-defined actions to be embedded into static content. More...
I have been into sleepless nights trying to figure out how this JSP really works. I have searched the web for samples and information. I was assigned to deal with the JSP codes when we had our midterm project in IT310B. That's why JSP and I became close friends. It was so hard for me to analyze the codes and make it work. I had also to integrate the codes to the pages created by my groupmate. I am happy I really had close contact with JSP. It was a fun experience to sleep very late at night just to make sure that one jsp file works. One good thing with JSP is that it made me extend my patience, explore its functions and of course give me the chance to develop and widen my knowledge on programming.
My friendship with JSP made me more competent.
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Wednesday, May 14, 2008
China Earthquake KILLS thousands
CHENGDU, China - A powerful earthquake toppled buildings, schools and chemical plants Monday in central China, killing more than 8,700 people and trapping untold numbers in mounds of concrete, steel and earth in the country's worst quake in three decades. More... -Yahoo! NewsThis is the second major tragedy that happened after the Myanmar hurricane which killed more than 20,000 people. Nature now is avenging. It is scary. This could be a sign that doomsday is upcoming soon. These calamities are telling us two things--to repent our sins and to respect God's creation. We've done enough to our environment. We have exhausted what it has. We violated its right to be cared, respected and nurtured. Don't we have enough? Will we wait that the ocean will eat this whole land? Or the skies will shower fires? I'd rather die young than see the world at its worst.
For Donation:
Samaritian's Purse
World Vision
American Red Cross
UNICEF
This is the best time to lend our hands to our brothers and sisters who badly need our aid.
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Windows Vista Genuinizer
Make your windows vista installation genuine! It's better to have a genuine OS than a pirated one. But if you already installed a UN-genuine OS then we can still remedy that. Here's a software that can make your Vista genuine. Enjoy the benefits of a genuine user. Download here. Leave some comments. :)
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Charice Pempengco @ Oprah
Since childhood I have this passion in singing and now I don't question why I have it. Filipinos are born to sing. Guess this young girl has shown the world another Filipino talent. Filipinos really have what it take to be TOP in anything in this world.
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Download Windows Vista Service Pack 1 All Language Standalone DVD ISO
March 18, 2008 -- Windows Vista SP1 became available to the general public. Now, the first latest service pack for the recent Windows Client is available for download.
"Windows Vista Service Pack 1 (SP1) is an update to Windows Vista that addresses feedback from our customers. In addition to previously released updates, SP1 will contain changes focused on addressing specific reliability,
performance, and compatibility issues; supporting new types of hardware; and adding support for several emerging standards. SP1 also will continue to make it easier for IT administrators to deploy and manage Windows Vista. Windows Vista Service Pack 1 All Language Standalone version can be installed on any language version," Microsoft explained.Windows Vista Service Pack 1 All Language Standalone DVD ISO download contains the entire lineup of x86 and x64 versions of the service pack. 6001.18000.080118-1840_iso_client_sp_wave1-FRMCSP1_DVD.iso is a 1418.1 MB download, and Microsoft stressed that end users that are updating just one edition of Vista RTM should turn to Windows Update, rather than use the ISO image of SP1.
Truly Microsoft has never let its customers to be frustrated of its products. It never fails them to receive of what they call "quality service". Microsoft still leads and reigns. And as the demand for a better performing OS is increasing, surely they are now developing a better Operating System for its end-users.
Windows Vista Service Pack 1 All Language Standalone DVD ISO is available for download here.
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Our Greatest Fear
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other
people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.
— Marianne Williamson
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Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Origin of my Name
I asked my parents on the origin of my name and they told me a story. Before I was born, my parents agreed that if they will be having a baby boy, my father would choose the name but if a baby girl, my mother will be the one to decide for the name. And the time came that I came out from my mother’s womb and found out that the baby was a boy. So, father got the chance to name me. He was thinking of what would be an appropriate name for me when he realized that my name should be starting with the letter “L”. It is because my father’s name starts with “L”, Leonidas D. Belleza Jr. He even attempted to name me after his name and be Leonidas G. Belleza III. But my mother disagreed. And I’m thankful she did. Because I really don’t like to be Leonidas, the name Lloyd is far better than being Leonidas. I can’t imagine bearing that name for the rest of my life. So, that’s it, he was searching a name from a book named Almanaci (I’m not sure of the spelling). When he was scanning, my father picked and chose the name Lloyd because as he said, it was the best among the names starting with letter L.
The story of how my name was formed was not very rare; I can say it is much of a typical story. But, I will always be thankful that I’m bearing a wonderful name even if it is just a five-letter word. Now, the challenge is how I will maintain the beauty of this name. And I came up to an apprehension that I should be making this short name a respected, looked-up name.
Lloyd is my name and I’m proud to have this name. Many persons may have this name but Lloyd Belleza is very unique.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
The Purple Debut
I came the earliest and went home the latest. May 10 was the date to celebrate the 18th birthday of Sunshine May Porras. She was born on the 7th of May 1990 and due to class schedules, it was more convenient to move her celebration on May 10, Saturday night. The celebration was almost not to happen because of some family misunderstandings but thank God it was pushed through. Her cousins were really persistent. I'm happy they were. The motif is purple but I wore white. She dressed in a violet gown and a tiara on her head. She loo
ked lovely. She was truly SHINING that night. I was so simple then. I was the unofficial turned official video man. I brought my video cam with me. And i took the coverage of the celebration. I was part of the 18 pairs, 18 roses and 18 moments/bloopers. I did not give the best speech, it was so reserved of me. But I know she felt the sincerity of my message. Sometimes we say it best when we just let them feel than let them know through words. The food were great. The node people were so fun. Still, the best people to be with. Late
r that night I gave my gifts--the food (pizza ala king of Mrs. Lourdes Lee) and the keychain bought in Enchanted Kingdom.Almost everbody went home leaving me as the only visitor who would ride home. My companions were my friends and neighbors of shine. It was almost 1am when I arrived home. And did not sleep yet to make a video presentation for my mama. May 11 is Mothers' Day. I had a great night. And truly enjoyed it. I really missed her.
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Friday, May 9, 2008
May 12: National Transport Stike
TRANSPORT STRIKE. Steve Ranjo, national president of the leftist transport group Piston, announces the details of the nationwide transport strike they are staging on Monday, May 12, to protest the continued increase of oil prices, which it blames on government policies.
I don't blame this people. They have to voice out their sentiment. They have to fight for their right. They seek for justice. They need to start now. Or forever keep their silence. The news about oil price hike is no longer a NEWS. What's new anyway? It becomes a trend. It becomes normal. And it is NOT GOOD. As oil price goes higher, commodities do too. Now that the Philippines is experiencing a rice shortage, another is coming. What is left for the Filipinos? The poor families become poorer and poorer until they die of hunger, abandon their children or worse kill to survive. These crises make the people do evil. Although still no reason is valid enough to kill. The government must move. Move for the benefit of the people and not for theirs. They must not think of themselves more but the people who need MORE of their help. How will this happen? Their call for justice was decades ago. When will we truly get the justice we deserve from the government? Or will we really get it?
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Shy and Gerald Anderson--Lovers Before
PBB has a new "thing" to spice up its show. Just last Sunday, the show presented the "HOUSEPLAYER NG BAYAN". She is known in TV as Shy (not her real name). She has to do what the people would ask her through voting. Now, she has won two tasks making her P20,000 richer. Her entry was so controversial that she made the girl housemates fight and the other boy housemates to get mad and be suspicious. But what makes her MORE CONTROVERSIAL was her past. Gerald Anderson, PBB Teen 3rd
Big Place in the first edition, was her ex-boyfriend. Or are they really not together anymore? I have never heard this news before. Can this affect the KIMERALD tandem? Because after PBB, Shy would definitely be part of the showbiz industry. Hmmm. Why do the show keep on hiding the face of Shy? To conceal her identity? Nah. As people become curious they research more of you. Now, her past is dug.
Source: Did you Know?
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Thursday, May 8, 2008
The Smelly Front of Gaisano Mall
"The smell is their way to get rid of the bad lucks." Taking it constructively, I am making myself believe that the smelly front of Gaisano mal
l is their charm. LOL. Most of the times if not always, I get the chance to be stranded in Gaisano mall jeepney stop. Usually, the jeepney going to Panacan stop in front of the mall and wait for passengers to fill in the vacant seats. I understand them but that also made me suffer for a while. The place really sucks. It is so stinky. And this smell problem has been for years already. The management has not done something to remedy this. Is not this their responsibility? They are making the customers smell that stinky road. I am never used to that smell. My friends and I usually joke around whenever we encounter that smell. We complain, who wouldn't? We thought of reporting it in citizen patrol. LOL. I guess it is their marketing strategy to make the people not forget their place. Or it is just a feng shui practice to lure good vibes. But still, what is stinky is STINKY!
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Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Victoria Plaza - No more into Old ADULT FILMS?
If we have same route everyday probably you would notice this too. Victoria Plaza is known to show old adult films mostly in cinema 6. Just yesterday, as the jeepney paused to fetch a passenger, I saw this (see picture in the left). I was a bit surprised because at last the store is no longer showing those sexy films. I thought it would be just for a day but just tonight, I saw no traces of adult film board placed on their now showing structure. I'm just wondering why there was a sudden change. Was this because truly the store has been purchased by the management of SM? Or simply because the adult films are no longer marketable? Either way, I am happy as a young man that the VP management opted not to exhibit the lustful pictures of adult films anymore. I hope it would stay that way. Not that I don't want them to air sexy films, however, they should not do it as often as everyday.
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The Angel and Demon Coke Commercial
I am not very fanatic of commercials and some fancy advertisements. But this one really caught my attention. Aside from its alluring background music (praises to the artists who sang and wrote the song--Project 1; personally i really like it), it has an appealing visual effects. I like the concept. The use of an angel coming down from heaven just to search for that one beverage, which is coke, is kind of new and controversial. Anyway, it's not only the angel that went to earth, the demon too. Too bad for him, he did not totally get rid of his horns. Basing on the creativity and imagination of the director of the commercial, i will give him an applause. The product became a must-drink that even supernaturals want to taste it. Good job. However, the downside of it, it is too out-of-this world. And I must say, it is not good for an angel to trade her wings and immortality for a piece of coke. LOL. Hope the religious church people won't protest for this.
The commercial is catchy and creative. It is not an ordinary ad you can see every night.
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Monday, May 5, 2008
JSP and SLEEPLESS Nights
Now, I realized how hard it is to be in this course. My earliest time of sleep is 1am. I can't believe this! This whole lot of thing is making me old. Hahah. But I'm becoming more interested with what I am doing. This course has a lot to offer. JSP is a new friend. But gives me lots of loads.
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Friday, May 2, 2008
Madonna Decena: A Song for her Children
Without a doubt, Filipinos really got the talents. And we are bold enough to share these to the world. While waiting for my favorite TV show, a news caught my attention. It said there that a Filipina working in Britain is gaining fame in YouTube with her performance in a Reality Talent Show in UK called Britain's Got Talent 2008. I was curious of how was her performance; why were there so many who viewed her clip? And at this instance, I found the answer.
Madonna Decena is a mother of two who left her kids to their grandmother to look for fortune in Britain. She is 32 years old and working as a club singer. I watched the video of her audition. It was funny, memorable and TOUCHING. The audience as well as the judges felt that too. She sang the piece, I will always love you of Whitney Houston. It was not that original but she delivered it very well. The song was for her children. It was her intention for joining the show--more work, more work, more opportunity to help her save money for her children. This is not a new story for everybody but the fact remains that we were still touched by her story. Even British people were moved by her story. She received a three YES from the three judges. Simon Cowell gave her a NO, retracting it by saying, NO, he doesn't want to disappoint the people and ended it by saying YES with a wink. The audience gave her an applause and a standing ovation. She really deserved to be in. And as the judges said, she is brilliant and she will really go a long way. I agree with them. And I hope and pray that this show will help her meet her children and never to leave them again.
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Thursday, May 1, 2008
American Idol bids GOODBYE to Brooke White
April 29, 2008 was the performance night of the TOP 5 singing the songs of Neil Diamond. The idols had to pick two songs and here listed below are the songs in the manner of performance:
- Jason Castro: Forever in Blue Jeans
- David Cook: I’m Alive
- Brooke White: I’m A Believer
- David Archuleta: Sweet Caroline
- Syesha Mercado: Hello Again
- Jason Castro: September Morn
- David Cook: All I Really Need is You
- Brooke White: I Am, I Said
- David Archuleta: America
- Syesha Mercado: Thank The Lord For The Nighttime
Jason Castro
Randy --An OK performance, in his zone.
Simon --Forgettable
David Cook
Randy --He said he is a huge DAVID COOK fan
Simon -- The 1st song was above average, the second was BRILLIANT!
Brooke White
Paula -- Connects to the audience with her vulnerability
Simon -- The 1st song was a NIGHTMARE, the 2nd was well done
David Archuleta
Simon -- 1st song was amateurish, the second was a smart choice, clever
Syesha Mercado
Simon -- the 1st song was old-fashioned, the 2nd she looked like a good actress and singer,however not very memorable compared to the others
After the two hours of voting, America decided. Brooke White was finally sent home. As for me, America had the right choice based on the performance the other night. Syesha gave a better performance than her. She has reached a long way and she even survived the previous eliminations. But not this time. It's her time to leave. Now it's down to the final four. Who's going out next? Will Syesha run out of luck? Who'll be the next American Idol? We'll find out soon.
For updates of the show visit the site.
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